The Light Around Me

There are so many times when I feel like penning down my thoughts and feelings but the absence of my PC or note pad makes me feel kind of crippled at those times. Those are the times when I just 'feel' the beauty of what I wanted to express in words. There are so many feelings we get through out our lives. Some are good, some are bad, some are expressable and some are not. I also 'feel' that at times I take this feeling sense of me for granted. Actually there are other things like this that I take for granted as well and dont thank my creator for the small blessings I have. Indeed, he is the one who can give and take everything but thanking him is what we should do as our duty towards him.

Just a few hours back, I had a fulfilling meal and now I am just staring out my bedroom window onto a sunny afternoon. The sun rays make my window sill look like it is made from gold and the shadow of the window on my wall looks like some one has caved a no. 11 on it with a shimmering orangish yellow light bulb. Life is beautiful, yes it so is ... there is so much to see, feel, sense and be thankful for yet our over indulgence in whining over small things makes us blind towards the beauty all around us which is definitely much more bigger than those petty petty things.

Looking harder ..

In life there are times when you just feel like letting your inself out and feeling the warmth of nothing inside. This is one of those many times when we are reminded of the power of an important part of our body which is the brain. We use our brain and look around for some thing or some one to act as a vent. At such instances, we only care about the vent's necessity and nothing else. Sometimes we vent through eyes, some times we vent through heart , some times its the friends, some times the family, some times the note pad and so on goes the list.

Once the mountain of emotions bursts up and the adrelanine rush smoothens a bit, you get to feel how good it is to sense nothing inside you or alteast carry with you lesser burden than before. But, have we ever thought about what the 'other party' feels. Whether its a part of our own self or some other self that acts as a vent for us, its still getting to be the holder of our burden. So are we being fair by venting out our worries on some one/thing else? Quite a point to ponder on but I think, we as humans are selfish creatures. We mostly care for something if it reaps positive results for us otherwise we just move on removing the chapter of that thing from the book of our lives. Sad, but in real ... facts are bitter mostly ... no?

Beauty

Life is beautiful, indeed it is. These days the colors of summer all around make me feel happy and in turn remind me of the small beings we are in the big circle of existence. Every one I see is busy in some part of their life, occupied in achieving goals and purposes but in the end it comes down to going back. Yes, going back to where it all started from and from there begins the real test. So if I think a lot, this world and the life that we have is just a drop of rain in the heavy infinite downpour. Then why is there much fret, pain, hurt, anger and so on goes the list elements present in the one drop of rain we stand in. I think i definitely need to polish up my drop a bit, removing the darkness and illuminating it to see where its going. Because once I know where my drop is going to fall, I can prevent it from going haywire in the strong winds and wicked lightening. After all, the best rain drop not only gets to go back in the skies but also gets to stay there for an eternity with peace.

Quote/Un-Quote

I read this saying on facebook in a friend's favourite quotes section and I don't know who exactly said it but I totally agree with him/her , it goes like ...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they are right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together"

Its a total killer, this quote. Killer in the sense that it has a profound touch to it yet its so mild in speech. I like the way the person is expressing the amazing certainty that he has in his mind and heart in a strong tone but with a subtle attitude. I just plainly like the saying too much but if given a chance I would just add some more reality to it by editing one line in it as follows,

"You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but your God"

Because I believe that trust in God leads to trust in yourself eventually.

Associations

Have you ever noticed how we humans tend to associate things with things in our minds. Like we go to some city and have a bad experience there. We would always associate the bad part with the city and wouldn't want to go there again and give it a second chance. Similarly we have experiences with people and we no matter how much we try to move on, those memories linger on in our minds and we would associate that bad thing with that person somewhere always in our sub conscious no matter how much he/she is good to us afterwards.

There are some relationships though that are so powerful that you not only forgive but also forget the bad things some involved party did to you and move on with a fresh start as if nothing happened in the first place. So yes, we humans have the capability of driving away from associations in our minds but we mostly don't make effective use of it due to the power our mind has over our heart. If we do put the aforementioned capability to work, I am sure we would have new and better experiences in our life in various matters, but yes its difficult to do that, it definitely is.

Then again, 'will power' can take you places, can't it ?

Sometimes....

I was sitting in the quiteness of my parent's home terrace and sipping in the serenity of the surrounding with a tinch of the typically soothing 'Karachi' night air, leaving far behind myself the rumblings of the ever alive city. It was a calm sensation that hugged me gently leaving me complete and incomplete in the same point of time. There was a scenic view in front of me where there was this white fluffy cloud whose edges were marked by the pure white light of the half moon partially visible due to the huge plam tree standing still in the neighbourhood since my child hood days and which was then obscuring my full view behind it. The voices in the background of the television set and my family made me feel secure somehow.

I have experienced this moment of calmness many a times living practically half of my life in this place and this familiar view from the terrace never failed in making me feel good. I realize that its these 'some times' of life that we might not remember the next hour or the next day but they are the ones which are so highly needed in the busy world we live in these days. We don't know when our sacred horse will fall down in the horse race we run every second of our existence but atleast we should have a heart to give the horse a break from the chaotic picture he is in mostly. I hope I am making sense to you all but my point is simple, life should be taken seriously as far as achieving its purpose is concerned but other than that the lightness of its essence should be enjoyed too. Life is too short seriously so why not live it in a happy way so that your creator also feels happy that he blessed you with this wonderful gift.

P.S. for those of you who don't know which place is Karachi, let me just say one thing that its the most happening city of the country 'Pakistan' :)

Importance

I am quite an emotional being on the face of planet earth. I feel everything deep down inside and because these days I am at home full time, I feel everything a bit too much. Every second I am reminded of the importance of so many things and so many people in my life but the next moment I tend to forget it as well.

Its true when you get too much of something, you forget how much that thing means to you and you just waste your time contemplating how much more you could get but the moment that thing is gone, you crave for it. Its funny how we human beings take precious beings, things and moments for so granted. We never sit and think for a second how much that particular person mean to us or how much that important thing is needed for us or how much happiness that special moment bought to us. Rather the pessimism of life gets to our head and blinds our rational thought process.

My readers, Why not just close your eyes for a second and think of the most important person/thing/event in your life. Think of how much he/she/it has given to your life and to your existence. Think of the void that would have been created if he/she/it would not have been a part of your life's book. Just think and tell me do you feel thankful ? If yes then please take care in how you proceed with your life. Its necessary that you don't loose track of your priorities in the fast lane of life.

Small Moments, Big Happiness

Walking down some restaurant, you see a little boy who just dropped his toy and you see the anticipation in his eyes of how he might get that toy as he himself can't sitting on a high chair. You go and pick up the toy, give it to the kid and walk away. In your heart you feel a strange rhythm, the one that for some reason you thought you will not hear any time soon.

Do you get it ? I mean, are you getting what I am talking about?

I am just trying to explain the phenomena of happiness that small things in life can give you with the help of a random instance which didn't even happened with me but I felt that it would be able to do justice in shedding light on the topic of this blog post of mine.

Sometimes you feel so much despair and suddenly a small thing happens. When I say small , I mean small in comparison to what you define big in life, and that small thing gives you a reason to smile. That small thing makes you move forward with hope and forget your worries. That small thing you will remember for times to come and know what ... perhaps it wasn't that small after all :) ....

The Voices in the Mind

There comes certain instances in life where you are so engulfed in the mist of emotions that you forget the reality of the situation that you are currently in. The only sound you hear is what the voice in your mind tells you and that voice is being instructed by the winds of heart. If there is another voice in your mind telling you just the opposite of what the first voice says, your conscience is still alive and your soul is still yours otherwise you have lost yourself in the chaotic world of thoughts. The hard fact is that losing yourself is the most painful thing you can experience ever.

I personally feel that if you are losing yourself due to anything, that chapter in your book of life should be torn apart gradually and you should add a new chapter by yourself at that place, a chapter that makes you feel good and happy, a chapter that brings out the best in you because remember 'YOU' are precious and nothing can change this truth.

Decisions

Big decisions in life are difficult to make but once you are decided .. you feel contented like never before ..

Do you agree with me on the above given statement or thoughts still hover over in your mind over the decision taken ?

Leave it or Take it

What do you suppose should be done if something is not working for you like for example you have taken up a task, and you are not abe to complete it successfully on multiple trials. Shall you just leave it of shall you keep on trying till it start reaping results ? Its a difficult query because sometimes that task is giving you more sadness of failure than the happiness of hope in tries and other times vice versa. I also feel that at that particular moment of decision of what to do and what not to do, you get more attracted towards the easier path; the difficult part which is the letting go and going on part seems kind of implausible at that time. Being rational is the key here, no matter what ever decision you need to take in life, you need to think hard and clear before going for it. Some times its the heap of emotions that make a decision for you which you might regret later but if the mind and heart both point towards the same direction, just dont think, take a plunge for it ! life will automatically become better ....

The Power above Us All...

Its all about hiccups if we really come to think of it. You get so many stoppers in life, points beyond which your mind doesn't want your feet to go, but you still do. Do you want to know how ? Because we have been blessed with extreme resilience by our creator, the Almighty power above us all. He knows how much we can take and about how much will we throw up. Its those moments in life where you want some one to just soothe you by telling that all will be well and as per your wishes soon but ofcourse there is no one who satisifies you better than your creator. Some times the answers lies deep down within us and we just dont want to see them as they are different to what we wish. I have learnt that its better to accept those answers than to keep fighting the battle inside you. The battle of you against you only ... in the end you win if you let things go when they aren't working your way ... otherwise you will be caught in a whirlpool of never ending misery ...

Mystery

I heard something a moment back and the only thing that comes to my mind after hearing it is this that life is really an amazing mystery. You just think you have crossed one hurdle and unravelled one part of it, and again comes another part that you need to unravel. You keep going on in the hope that this is the last block that you need to pick up, hope keeps on shattering and you hope again and life goes on. The best thing out of the whole circular process is that the mystery stands where it was, unmoved, but our efforts still go on. Perhaps, that is the reason why we are here living this life because if life wouldn't have had its furtive moves, we wouldn't have had the entice to move ahead in it.

Cherish-able

Last saturday I felt like writing down so much about what I saw but unfortunately I didn't have my blog access at the place where I was and then I got caught up in the entanglements of life and coudn't write for one more day, but the memory of what I saw kept on pushing me to pen it down and feel its beauty again.

So it was a bright morning with a welcoming sun and a few threatening clouds. A cool breeze was blowing which felt to be freshening up my senses. I felt happy just seeing such a bright day. Small deal it may seem, but we really do take some of the huge blessings of God for granted, because if we come to think of it , there are many who cannot open their eyes to the beauty around them. Life is a teacher I think, every moment you learn something yet like a bad student, we tend to forget it the next moment but sometimes the lesson sticks to our mind and can do wonder if we actually take advantage of it.

I walked a few steps further and saw little stalls of vegetables and other eatables stocked down the lane. People from all different walks of life, with all different good and bad things going on in their lives were standing there, buying their needs. I could hear the sweet chirpy laughter of cute kids all around and then as if this was not enough, I felt a drop of water caress my head. Yes, God added to the scene by adding some rythm of rain, in midst of which I could still see the golden Sun. From here, I could also see the artistic stairs to some old building and could hear the buzzing of new inventions like buses/cars in the background adding some reality to reverie I was in.

I wanted to stay in this scene for ever but time was ticking and I had to move forward with the flow of life.

All around me I felt a beautiful and very powerful energy, a memory which I will cherish for times to come. Some times a small thing also makes a big impact on your soul. Some times even words don't do justice to the feeling you had at a particular moment.

I hope that while reading my post , you also have been able to feel the pure magic or even some part of it , which I felt when I viewed the scene beyond me on that sweet saturday morning.

Socializing

I recently discovered a new view on life that seemed to be having quite some insight to it. Some times the best medicine to the intricate problems of our daily routine is just opening the window and letting some crisp fresh air in. By that I don't mean literally opening the window at your home but yes, opening the windows of the soul and mind to the outside world, meeting other people, knowing their experiences, learning good things from them, counting your blessings and letting your woes go. Some times its the imperfections of the world around you that would make you realize that your life being imperfect is totally normal and you need to search for happiness in your own little imperfect world.

Just stop for a moment and think, if our lives woudn't have been imperfect, would we have had time or inclination to remember the perfect God? the answer is most probably a No, so when ever you feel that you can't take the hard bricks life throws at you anymore, just take a deep breath, and open the window ( I am sure this time you know which window I am talking about :) ) .

Facebook is Good!

While just randomly clicking on profiles on facebook, I came across this probable teenager's (atleast she looked like a teenager in her profile picture, don't know for sure though) profile and saw these lines in her 'about me' section ,

Play The Moments
▌▌ Pause The Memories
■ Stop The Pain
◄◄ Rewind The Happines

These 4 lines portray a good summary of how we should play our life reel. They got me into thinking and I felt good in the end.It would feel nice to remember them each morning before starting my day off.

Happy or unHappy ?

A rainy morning with cheese, sausages, hot tea plus a few break downs too like spilling tea in the microvave and milk in the fridge, but that was probably the balancing hand of nature in play. I mean something good has to come with something bad. Life cannot be a bed of roses at all times, can it be? I think God has kept the scales of life balanced, to keep our souls satisfied and not under or over satisfied.

With the nice weather around me and the blessed meal in front of me , I still feel sad some where deep down within me. May be I am one of those ungrateful creatures of God or I might be actually missing out on some thing that I shoudn't. To not feel guilty, I just assured myself that I am not one of the former ones, which leaves me thinking as to what am I missing out on, what are the unavailed oppurtunities I am not exploiting, what is it which I am intentionally avoiding or unintentionally letting go?!?

Last word :

I think I shall be better off enjoying my happy meal now rather than going in the deep world of thoughts and thinkings ... so shall you .. just enjoy the present moment :)

Stuck on ........... ?!

Ok so there are things in life which are worth spending time on according to my definitions and then then there are things which aren't that important in some forms of word but then again the point is not that; the point is that why do things get stuck on your mind, important or unimportant, why do they don't go away?

Having often asked this question to myself and getting no answer, just makes me ponder on it, all over again. These days there are a few things which are surely bothering me more than what my mental and physical capacities can take. All of them seems to me like the devil's ploys against me but then again I keep getting the question whether it is just the devil or is it actually me?

It feels so incomplete without getting the answers to the questions that my mind asks my soul. May be I have to look more and more and more ...to find the sunshine land and to fulfill my satisfaction. By the way, I liked this word I just formulated ...the sunshine land ... its heavy!

Dream

Have you ever gone through a phase where you wish for something to happen so bad that all your senses and thoughts are engulfed in the mist of that desire ? That one desire that fills you up and leaves you empty, all at the same time.

Have you ever felt like you have seen a familiar scene of a similar future, present and past of yours, all at once in one quick blink of the eye ?

Have you ever felt that the day and night have all become same for you, because the moon and sun that separates them are both showing you the same dream over and over again?

Then yes, you have dreamt of what you have desired ...

Phenomena.

I encountered an amazing phenomena a day back. I felt so down on one matter which kept on perturbing me for some while. An inner voice inside me told me to just ask my creator for what I want and so I did. I even kept a time check that if my want doesnt fullfil till a particular moment, I would just stop thinking about everything that confused me and would move on in my existence. Just as the clock was about to strike that moment and as I was about to surrender to the shadow of hopelessness, my want changed to my present. I just coudn't believe it.

Some one far above always has ears on what we say to him. Its just us who get busy and forget our purpose of being.

Chaos!

There are times in our lives when mind is in total opposition to heart. Your heart wants to believe in something so badly ... its like that thin branch of happiness you are holding onto and in your mind, you believe that if you leave it, everything will be gone. On the contrary, there is the mind, which in its own space is more stronger than the weak heart and the mind has its very own strong say as well. Both the heart and mind is pulling me in the opposite direction right now. My hearts wants to believe something which will make me happy, where as the mind wants me to see the hard facts of actuality. Why doesn't the mind get it that no matter how strong it is or how weak the heart may be, the blood pumping to the whole body is still provided by the heart and no blood means no body, no brain, no mind, no soul ... no me ... I want to listen to my heart and I so want to ... but can I live in a dreamland forever even if I want to ?

A new way!

The best way to relax yourself in high anxiety is not to think about problems of life in a serious manner. I have this firm believe now that when ever your blood pressure is rising on any matter, just keep quite and move away from that scene. Give yourself and your circumstances a break, get out of the sad state of dilemmas, take fresh air in and polluted air out.

Sometimes the more you run after life to make it better, the more it runs away from you making itself worst and in turn making you feel the extereme form of worst. Yes, indeed its for your best interest to let go of things at a time like this and leave it to your faith to make it better.

There is no doubt that you have to make efforts in the little play field bestowed upon us by our creator in order to win the game of existence but there are boundaries of efforts beyond which even if you try, the results won't get any better.

I won't get this second again and you won't get this second again either so why are we wasting it thinking about the problems. Why not think about ourselves, yes I mean ourselves because if we really care about out souls, we should think about making ourselves happy. Happiness is the blood for soul, the more you would take it away from your soul, the more your soul will get near to its death. So do you want to kill yourself?!! the decision is yours and yours only ...

Plans unfolding ...

I had so many plans today but a spur of the moment changed them. That unexpected turn of my emotional thinking lines, made me do the unwanted and things went positively in my favor.

Its strange, you think so much, and draw your action paths accordingly and then suddenly one thought, one mere thought changes the whole scene for you.

It firms your believe, that there is a mighty power controlling it all.

The only solution to the difficult questions of life is to have faith on that power and then you will see the magic happen.

the free bird

Sometimes in life you just want to fly away .... away from everything... the ryhthm .. the noise... the talks.... even away from life ... like a bird ..like a free bird... its weird... the mere thought of independence in its full form gives you both ..pleasure and discomfort ... its this life that make you alive... and sometimes its this life which makes you dead.. ok so enough with the vicious circle of life and life but really it feels so weird at times.

I remember the heroine from the movie 'forest gump'. She always wanted to fly out, at all pushing times of her 'life', fly freely like a bird, but have we ever thought why do we want to do the flying and why we actually don't?

Maybe its the fear of the unknown that stops our feet from crossing that thin line between the familiar world and the unfamiliar world or maybe (which I think is more plausible), its the song "can't live with this world and without this world".

I know it sounds kind of all mixed up but it is actually the connections you form with the very familiar 'at times really weird' world that keeps you from flapping your wings to go some where else. Connections ..ummm .. real important word .. makes me just ponder ...because they are also the reason due to which we want to flap our wings in the first place ... wickedddddd.. ain't it??!